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Meet the Monsters – Ogres

MtMheader

Meet the Monsters is a web series providing background on the mythological creatures featured in MONSTER GOOSE NURSERY RHYMES.

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Ogres

Ogres are featured in mythology and folklore throughout the world. They are large, strong, dimwitted and dangerous humanoids who eat humans. Giants, trolls, and ogres are sometimes represented as the other in fiction. For example, Tolkien refers to the ogre-like creatures in THE HOBBIT and THE LORD OF THE RINGS as trolls.

The term ogre has several possible origins. In the Bible, Og is the giant Amorite king of Bashan. The Etruscans worshiped a cannibalistic god Orcus. Greek mythology includes the river god Oiagros, father of Orpheus. A female ogre is called an ogress. Or perhaps real-world Neanderthals, which coexisted with Cro-Magnons, were the original inspiration for ogres.

ogre01 Per the New World Encyclopedia, “Another explanation for the ogre myth is that the ogres represent the remains of the forefather-cult which was ubiquitous in Scandinavia until the introduction of Christianity in the tenth and eleventh centuries. In this cult, the forefathers were worshiped in sacred groves, by altars, or by grave mounds. They believed that after death a person’s spirit continued to live on, or near, the family farm. This particularly applied to the founding-father of the estate, over whose body a large burial mound was constructed.”

Ogres appear in the movies Shrek, in the tabletop games Dungeons & Dragons, Magic: The Gathering, and Warhammer, and in the books PUSS IN BOOTS, HOP O’ MY THUMB and, SLEEPING BEAUTY (original version) by Charles Perrault, THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA by C.S. Lewis, XANTH by Piers Anthony, THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES by Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzi, and MONSTER GOOSE NURSERY RHYMES by Henry Herz.

ogre2Puss in Boots before the ogre. Note that one of the platters on the table serves human babies (Illustrated by Gustave Doré).

ogre3Hop-o’-My-Thumb steals the ogre’s seven-league boots. (Illustrated by Gustave Doré.)

ogre4Kwakiutl house pole representing the cannibal ogress Dzonoqwa

ogre5Oni (Japanese ogre)

ogre6The ogre from “Hop-o’-My-Thumb” at Efteling

ogre7The ogress Sanda Muhki represented at Mandalay Hill

 


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Illustrated Quotes from Shrek

One of the greatest animated films of all time, Shrek had terrific animation and humor. Here are some amusing quotes:

onions

Shrek: For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example… uh… ogres are like onions!
[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes… No!
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave ’em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs…
Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
[walks off]
Donkey: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake!
Shrek: I don’t care what everyone else likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “Hell no, I don’t like no parfait”? Parfaits are delicious!
Shrek: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
Donkey: Parfait’s gotta be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!

duloc
Donkey: Hey, look at this!
[he goes up to an information booth and pulls a lever. After some clicking, many mechanized marionettes pop out and begin singing]
Clockwork Chorus: Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town / Here we have some rules, let us lay them down: / Don’t make waves, stay in line / And we’ll get along fine / Duloc is a perfect place
Clockwork Chorus: Please keep off of the grass / Shine your shoes, wipe your… FACE! / Duloc is, Duloc is / Duloc is a perfect… place!
[the booth takes Donkey and Shrek’s photo, showing them stunned]
Donkey: Wow. Let’s do that again!
Shrek: [grabs Donkey] No! No, no no no. No.

burp
[Shrek burps in front of Donkey and Fiona]
The Donkey: Shrek!
Shrek: What? It’s a compliment. Better out than in, I always say.
The Donkey: But that’s no way to behave in front of a princess.
[Fiona burps louder]
Princess Fiona: Thanks.
The Donkey: [to Shrek] She’s as nasty as you are.

BlueFlowerRedThorns
Donkey: Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn’t COLOR-BLIND!

farquadinbed
Magic Mirror: [telling Lord Farquaad about his bachelorettes] So, just sit back and relax, my Lord, because I’m about to give you today’s three eligible bachelorettes.
[the mirror shows images of Cinderella]
Magic Mirror: Our first bachelorette is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot-tubbing any time. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Let’s hear it for Cinderella!
[changes to images of Snow White]
Magic Mirror: Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the Land of Fantasy. Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy. Just kiss her frozen, dead lips and find out what a live wire she is. Give it up for Snow White!
[changes to Princess Fiona]
Magic Mirror: And last but not least is a fiery redhead who lives in a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by a boiling lake of lava! But don’t let that cool you off. She’s a loaded pistol who likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing: Princess Fiona! So, who will it be? Bachelorette #1? Bechelorette #2? Or Bachelorette #3?
[Farquaad’s advisors start calling out their choices, with Thelonious saying “#3”]
Lord Farquaad: Uhhh, Number 3!
Magic Mirror: Lord Farquaad, you have chosen… Princess Fiona.

LittleofHim
Princess Fiona: The sooner we get to Duloc, the better!
Donkey: Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it’s beautiful!
Princess Fiona: And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what’s he like?
Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in “short” supply.
[chortles]
Donkey: Yeah! Though there are those who think “little” of him!
[laughs]

CrackOneOff

[as they approach Fiona’s castle, Donkey smells the air]
Donkey: Whoa, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that, my mouth was open and everything!
Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you’d be dead!
[sniffs]
Shrek: That’s brimstone… we must be getting close.
Donkey: Yeah, right, brimstone. Don’t be talking about no brimstone. I know what I smelled, it wasn’t no brim and it didn’t come off no stone neither…

PriceImWillingToPay

Lord Farquaad: [to his knights] The winner of this tournament – no, no, the privilege – will have the honour of rescuing the beautiful Princess Fiona from the fiery pit of that dragon! Should the winner fail to return, the runner-up shall take his place, and so on and so forth… Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

DidntSlayDragon
Princess Fiona: Where are you going? The exit’s over there!
Shrek: [going to save Donkey] Well, I have to save my ass.
Princess Fiona: [shocked] What kind of knight ARE you?
Shrek: One of a kind.

GingerbreadMan
Lord Farquaad: [playing with Gingy’s legs] Run, run, run as fast as you can / You can’t catch me, I’m the Gingerbread Man!
Gingerbread Man: You’re a monster!
Lord Farquaad: [tossing legs away] I’m not the monster here, YOU are! You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me, where are the others?
Gingerbread Man: Eat me!
[spits in Farquaad’s face]
Lord Farquaad: I’ve tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I’ll…
[reaches down]
Gingerbread Man: NO! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
Lord Farquaad: All right, then! Who’s hiding them?
Gingerbread Man: Okay, I’ll tell you… Do you know… the Muffin Man?
Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: The Muffin Man.
Lord Farquaad: Yes, I know the Muffin Man. W-who lives down on Drury Lane?
Gingerbread Man: Well, she’s married to the Muffin Man…
Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: THE MUFFIN MAN!
Lord Farquaad: She’s married to the Muffin Man…

MerryMen

Merry Men: [singing] Ta da, da da da da – whoo!
Monsieur Hood: I steal from the rich and give to the needy…
Merry Man: He takes a wee percentage…
Monsieur Hood: But I’m not greedy – I rescue pretty damsels, man I’m good!
Merry Men: What a guy, ha ha, Monsieur Hood!
Monsieur Hood: Break it down…
[Merry Men Irish step dance]
Monsieur Hood: I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid…
Merry Men: What he’s basically saying is he likes to get…
Monsieur Hood: Paid!
Monsieur Hood: So, when an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush, that’s bad.
Merry Man: [joining in] That’s bad, that’s bad, that’s bad!
Monsieur Hood: When a beauty’s with a beast it makes me awfully mad!
Merry Men: He’s mad, he’s really, really mad!
Monsieur Hood: Now I’ll take my blade and ram it through your heart Keep your eyes on me, boys, ‘Cause I’m about to start…
[Fiona swoops in and kicks him – the music stops]
Princess Fiona: Man, that was annoying!

SaveMyAss
Princess Fiona: [hears a roar] You didn’t slay the dragon?
Shrek: It’s on my to-do list, now come on!
Princess Fiona: But this isn’t right! You’re meant to charge in, sword drawn, banners flying! That’s what all the other knights did!
Shrek: Yeah, right before they burst into flame!
[They pass a skeleton of one of the unfortunate victims]
Princess Fiona: That’s not the point…!

CarryingFIona
Shrek: Princess, I was SENT to rescue you by Lord Farquad, okay? HE’s the one that wants to marry you.
Princess Fiona: Well, why didn’t he come to rescue me?
Shrek: Good question! You can ask him that when we get there…
Princess Fiona: But I’m supposed to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre a-a-and his PET!
Donkey: Well, so much for noble steed!
Shrek: Look, Princess, you’re not making my job any easier…
Princess Fiona: Well, I’m sorry, but your job is not my problem. You tell Lord “Far-Quad” that if he wants to rescue me PROPERLY, I’ll be waiting for him right here!
[sits down]
Shrek: Hey! I’m nobody’s messenger boy, all right? I’m a delivery boy!
Princess Fiona: You wouldn’t dare…!
[Shrek carries her off]

PickMe
Shrek: Does anyone know where this Farquaad guy is?
[Donkey jumps up and down, shouting out]
Donkey: Oh, I know! I know where he is!
Shrek: Does anyone ELSE know where to find him?
Donkey: Pick me! Pick me! Me! Me!

Click to Retweet: Illustrated Quotes from Shrek at http://wp.me/p31Xf4-CI via @Nimpentoad