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Illustrated Quotes from The Lord of the Rings

Like most card-carrying fantasy geeks, I am a big Lord of the Rings (and Hobbit) fan. Below are some choice book quotes, illustrated by frames from the film versions. Enjoy.

quote01
“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

quote02
“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

quote03
“Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.”

quote04
“It’s the job that’s never started as takes longest to finish.”

quote05
“I am old, Gandalf. I don’t look it, but I am beginning to feel it in my heart of hearts. Well-preserved indeed! Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread. That can’t be right. I need a change, or something.”

quote06
“I don’t like anything here at all.” said Frodo, “step or stone, breath or bone. Earth, air and water all seem accursed. But so our path is laid.”   “Yes, that’s so,” said Sam, “And we shouldn’t be here at all, if we’d known more about it before we started. But I suppose it’s often that way. The brave things in the old tales and songs, Mr. Frodo, adventures, as I used to call them. I used to think that they were things the wonderful folk of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them, because they were exciting and life was a bit dull, a kind of a sport, as you might say. But that’s not the way of it with the tales that really mattered, or the ones that stay in the mind. Folk seem to have been just landed in them, usually their paths were laid that way, as you put it. But I expect they had lots of chances, like us, of turning back, only they didn’t. And if they had, we shouldn’t know, because they’d have been forgotten. We hear about those as just went on, and not all to a good end, mind you; at least not to what folk inside a story and not outside it call a good end. You know, coming home, and finding things all right, though not quite the same; like old Mr Bilbo. But those aren’t always the best tales to hear, though they may be the best tales to get landed in! I wonder what sort of a tale we’ve fallen into?”   “I wonder,” said Frodo, “But I don’t know. And that’s the way of a real tale. Take any one that you’re fond of. You may know, or guess, what kind of a tale it is, happy-ending or sad-ending, but the people in it don’t know. And you don’t want them to.”

quote07
“Not all those who wander are lost.”

quote08
“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”

quote09
‘I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo. ‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.’

quote10
‘What a pity that Bilbo did not stab that vile creature, when he had a chance!’ ‘Pity? It was Pity that stayed his hand. Pity, and Mercy: not to strike without need. And he has been well rewarded, Frodo. Be sure that he took so little hurt from the evil, and escaped in the end, because he began his ownership of the Ring so. With Pity.’

quote11
‘Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.’

quote12
‘They seem a bit above my likes and dislikes, so to speak,’ answered Sam slowly. ‘It don’t seem to matter what I think about them. They are quite different from what I expected — so old and young, and so gay and sad, as it were.’

quote13
‘He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.’

quote14
We must take a hard road, a road unforeseen. There lies our hope, if hope it be. To walk into peril — to Mordor. We must send the Ring to the Fire.’

quote15
‘I will take the Ring,’ he said, ‘though I do not know the way.’

quote16
‘You cannot pass,’ he said. The orcs stood still, and a dead silence fell. ‘I am servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass.’

quote17
‘I thought that Elves were all for moon and stars: but this is more elvish than anything I ever heard tell of. I feel as if I was inside a song, if you take my meaning.’

quote18
‘I pass the test,’ Galadriel said. ‘I will diminish, and go into the West and remain Galadriel.’

quote19
‘Tell me, Legolas, why did I come on this Quest? Little did I know where the chief peril lay! Truly Elrond spoke, saying that we could not foresee what we might meet upon our road. Torment in the dark was the danger that I feared, and it did not hold me back. But I would have never come, had I known the danger of light and joy.’

quote20
‘Do not be hasty, that is my motto.’

quote21
‘War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, northe arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.’

quote22
‘The rule of no realm is mine, neither of Gondor nor any other, great or small. But all worthy things that are in peril as the world now stands, those are my care. And for my part, I shall not wholly fail of my task, though Gondor should perish, if anything passes through this night that can still grow fair or bear fruit and flower again in days to come. For I also am a steward. Did you not know?’

quote23
“Where there’s life there’s hope, and need of vittles.”

quote24
“Old fool!” he said. “Old fool! This is my hour. Do you not know Death when you see it? Die now and curse in vain!” And with that he lifted high his sword and flames ran down the blade.’

quote25
“My body is broken. I go to my fathers. And even in their mighty company I shall not now be ashamed.”

quote26
“Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!”   A cold voice answered: ‘Come not between the Nazgûl and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye.”   A sword rang as it was drawn. “Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may.”   “Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!”   Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Dernhelm laughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. “But no living man am I!”

quote27
“It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.”

quote28
‘Come, Mr. Frodo!’ he cried. ‘I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you and it as well. So up you get! Come on, Mr. Frodo dear! Sam will give you a ride. Just tell him where to go, and he’ll go.’

quote29
‘But do you remember Gandalf’s words: Even Gollum may have something yet to do? But for him, Sam, I could not have destroyed the Ring. The Quest would have been in vain, even at the bitter end. So let us forgive him! For the Quest is achieved and now all is over. I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam.’

quote30
‘I am the daughter of Elrond. I shall not go with him now when he departs to the Havens; for mine is the choice of Lúthien, and as she so have I chosen, both the sweet and the bitter.’

quote31
‘Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth. Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.’

quote32
‘But Sam turned to Bywater, and so came back up the Hill, as day was ending once more. And he went on, and there was yellow light, and fire within; and the evening meal was ready, and he was expected. And Rose drew him in, and set him in his chair, and put little Elanor upon his lap. He drew a deep breath. “Well, I’m back,” he said.’

Click to Tweet: Illustrated quotes from The Lord of the Rings http://wp.me/p31Xf4-AN via @Nimpentoad


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Interview with ‘Herobear’ comic author Mike Kunkel

Mike Kunkel has been a cartoonist for as long as he can remember.  He spends his time writing and drawing stories for animation, comics, and children’s books.  He has won the Annie Award for Best Character Design in an Animated Series.   And he is the 2-time Eisner Award winning creator of the comic series “Herobear and the Kid”. While working daily in the animation industry, he is creating new books for release through his company The Astonish Factory.

Despite all the preparations required for San Diego Comic-Con, Mike has (heroically) made time to answer some questions.

KunkelMike

For what age audience do you write?

To be honest, I truly try to write for all ages. I want to create stories that are enjoyed from little kids to grandparents. It means a lot to offer stories that all ages can enjoy.

Henry: Indeed, we all have a kid inside us, struggling each day to remind us to not be too serious.

Tell us about your latest projects.

I have two brand new projects… The first is a brand new “Herobear and the Kid” adventure. It’s called “Picture Day”, and it is a fun one-shot story about Herobear and Tyler (the kid) saving the bridge in their town of Simpleton from an attack by the villain Von Klon and his “Sub-of-Doom.” “Herobear and the Kid” is a very nostalgic series with superhero origins.  It’s written with the feeling and tones of Wonder Years and A Christmas Story.  So with this story, I had fun writing about the memory of our school picture days and added in the adventure of fighting maniacal metal piranhas.

The other book I have coming out is a new children’s picture book entitled “Timmy and the Moon Piece.” It is the story of a little boy, named Timmy, and his fat little guinea pig, named Ton, that find a piece of the moon in the front yard one night. They decide to build a little rocket with their red wagon and fly the piece back up to glue it back to the moon.

Henry: I’m struggling to integrate “tone of Wonder Years” with “maniacal metal piranhas”. Well played, sir.

What do you hope readers will get from reading it?

My hope would be that with both these books, the readers enjoy the time they spend with my characters on the adventures.  I hope at the end, they have a smile on their face.

What aspect of writing or illustrating do you find most challenging?

Sometimes it’s the scheduling and balancing of regular life that is the hardest to juggle with the writing/illustrating responsibilities.

What is a powerful lesson you’ve learned from your career?

Make sure you love what you’re creating. Don’t do it to please others, because you can’t please everyone. So make sure you love your creations first. That will then come through to the readers…your “tribe.” Enjoy the process and value your results. Don’t rush through your projects and not enjoy the the creating of them.  And always celebrate the end result.

Henry: That is very sage advice.

What has been a memorable experience that you never would have had if you had not been a writer/illustrator?

The opportunity to have traveled to Angouleme, France with my family. An overwhelming experience that was made even more amazing because I could share it with my wife and kids.

Henry: Travel is great. We just got back from Europe. One of our stops was the Belgian Comic Strip Center. You gotta’ love the Belgians. They put a comic museum inside an Art Nouveau building designed by Horta! We’ll be posting about our visit tomorrow.

What advice would you give to aspiring authors or illustrators?

The simple advice is “don’t give up.” But really that covers so much. Stick to your dreams…go after them daily…even if you make teeny, tiny progress, keep at it. And the foundation for all of this is when you have a dream, make sure you also have plan toward that dream. And the plan may change or adjust, but make sure you have one to follow and don’t give up.

Henry: Many people mention persistence. But you bring up other important aspects: plan and adapt. “No plan survives contact with the enemy.” — Field Marshal von Moltke

Do you have any favorite quotes?

A couple that I really like are by Ray Bradbury… “Do what you love, and love what you do.” “Build your wings on the way down.”

Henry: The latter seems a tad risky to me.

Do you have any strange rituals that you observe when you write or illustrate?

Hmmm, not that I know of… Though my kids say that my eyes “bug out” a little bit when I get really into a drawing.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

Definitely flying. I would love to be able lift up off the ground and fly through the clouds.

If you could have three authors over for dinner, who would it be?

Dr. Seuss, C.S. Lewis, Stephen King, L. Frank Baum, Stan Lee, Ray Bradbury. . . Each one of these has inspired me tremendously in different ways. I’d love to get the chance to talk personally with them and see them all interact.

Henry: I said “three.” Clearly, two of them have crashed the dinner. My first Lewis read was, of course, Narnia, but his “Mere Christianity” knocked my socks off making cogent logical arguments for religious beliefs.

What do you like to do when you’re not working?

Traveling with my family, waiting impatiently for football season to start…and considering I’m always writing and drawing, I do like to sleep every once in a while.

Henry: “A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things. There will be sleeping enough in the grave.” – Benjamin Franklin

Where can readers find your work?

“Herobear and the Kid” can be found all this week at SDCC at the Boom Studios Booth. And both “Herobear” and “Timmy and the Moon Piece” can be found online at http://www.theastonishfactory.com.

This article is also posted to the San Diego Children’s Books Examiner.


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Interview with Ned Vizzini, NY Times Bestselling author of ‘House of Secrets’

Ned Vizzini is the New York Times bestselling author of young-adult books ‘It’s Kind of a Funny Story’, ‘The Other Normals’, ‘Be More Chill’, and ‘Teen Angst? Naaah..’.. In television, he has written for MTV’s Teen Wolf and currently writes for NBC’s Believe, forthcoming in March 2014 from J.J. Abrams and Alfonso Cuarón. His essays and criticism have appeared in the New York Times, the Daily Beast, and the New Yorker. He is the coauthor with Chris Columbus of the fantasy-adventure series ‘House of Secrets’. His work has been translated into 25 languages. He lives in Los Angeles.

Henry: And yes, that would be the Chris Columbus who directed such movies as Mrs. Doubtfire, two Harry Potter movies, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, and Home Alone.

VizziniNed

For what age audience do you write?

I write for everyone! That’s an easy answer because you hope everyone — or anyone — will read your work. In terms of marketing terms, my books are young-adult books, which means they are for readers 13 and up. My recent project ‘House of Secrets’ is for younger readers, from ages seven to twelve, although I have photographic evidence that at least one six-year-old has read it. My work on Last Resort, the TV show, was adult-oriented, and Believe, the show I’m on now, is also for adults. (It will air on Sundays at 9pm.)

Tell us about your latest book.

‘House of Secrets’ is a fantasy adventure book in the tradition of ‘Redwall’ or the R. A. Salvatore books I loved as a kid. It’s about a trio of siblings — the Walkers — who move into a creepy house in San Francisco and learn that it used to be owned by an even creepier writer, Denver Kristoff. Kristoff is like an H. P. Lovecraft or Robert E. Howard; he wrote all these cult novels in the early 20th century that have been lost to time. When the Walkers anger the wrong person, they — and the house — get sent into a mixed-up world where all of Kristoff’s books come to life. So they have to fight to find their way home. Oh, and there’s a colossus who eats giant dragonflies.

What do you hope readers will get from reading that book?

I hope that readers will have a good time reading ‘House of Secrets’.

Henry: I have a copy in my to-be-read pile.

What aspect of writing do you find most challenging?

The most challenging aspect of writing is finding the time to do it. This is difficult because the world is a treacherous and horrible place.

Henry: Particularly when there’s a colossus who eats giant dragonflies nearby.

What is a powerful lesson you’ve learned from being a writer?

I’ve learned that you can’t let anyone do your selling for you. Even though there’s a big apparatus at HarperCollins supporting ‘House of Secrets’ and they have done a fantastic job, a lot of the press that I’ve received for it has simply come from me asking for help.

Henry: You’re welcome. 🙂

What has been a memorable experience that you never would have had if you had not been a writer?

I got a chance to speak at Fort McMurray in Alberta, Canada for my book ‘It’s Kind of a Funny Story’. Fort McMurray is very far north — like Arctic Circle-north — and the only way to get there is through the desolate airport.

But then once you arrive, the town is part of the shale oil boom and everything is super expensive! They have a Keyano College, and bars, and hotels… it’s like the tiny alternate-universe Canadian version of Dubai.

Henry: Hmmm. That gives me an idea for a sci-fi book plot…

What advice would you give to aspiring authors?

Start small. Don’t try to write a novel off the bat. Write a short story so you can feel accomplished before you tackle bigger things.

Henry: Note to self: write a board book. Maybe a horror board book – The Very Hungry Cthulhu.

Do you have any favorite quotes?

“The majority is always wrong; the minority is rarely right.” – Henrik Ibsen
“No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.” – Lily Tomlin
“I’m not well-read, but when I read, I read well.” – Kurt Cobain

Henry: I wonder if Dox Equis ad writers were inspired by Kurt Cobain…

Do you have any strange rituals that you observe when you write?

I don’t believe in writing rituals; I think they hold you back.

Henry: Note to self: stop wasting time on Cthulhu-worship rituals. BTW, my spellchecker recognizes Cthulhu as a word. Now THAT’S how you know you’ve arrived.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

The power to stop time! For obvious reasons. At least I hope they’re obvious. Anybody who doesn’t want to stop time must be bored.

Henry: Stopping time is the most popular answer I’ve received from authors.

If you could have three authors over for dinner, who would it be?

George Orwell, Michael Crichton, and Amy Sohn, because all of their writing made a big impression on me when I was a kid, and I’d like to see them bounce ideas off of each other.

Henry: Perhaps Crichton would develop a TV show about cloned farm animals…

What is your favorite creature that exists only in literature?

Can’t go wrong with dragons!

Henry: Ah, a traditionalist. But which flavor of dragon: LeGuin’s, McCaffrey’s, Tolkien’s, or Martin’s?

What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

Go to the post office.

Henry: To mail manuscripts or receive royalty checks. Well played, sir.

What would you like it to say on your tombstone?

“Loving husband and father.”

Henry: Nice. My sense of self-preservation would have me add grandfather and great grandfather.

Where can readers find your work?

You can find ‘It’s Kind of a Funny Story’ face-out at Barnes & Noble since it has “tipped” and become popular. My other work can be harder to find; you might have to ask for it. ‘House of Secrets’ is heavily discounted on Amazon. Your local independent bookstore should have my stuff in the young adult and children’s sections. The many articles I’ve written are here. Enjoy!

Henry: Usually when I’ve “tipped”, I’m face down. Ned will also be signing books at the Smart Pop Books booth (#4300) at the San Diego Comic-Con on Saturday, July 20 at 11 am.

This article is also posted to the San Diego Children’s Books Examiner.


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Great Quotes from The Wizard of Oz

With the remake Oz the Great and Powerful in theaters now, here are some great quotes from the original 1939 movie, The Wizard of Oz.

oz
Dorothy: It really was no miracle. What happened was just this…
Dorothy: [singing] The wind began to switch / The house, to pitch / And suddenly the hinges started to unhitch / Just then the Witch / To satisfy an itch / Went flying on her broomstick, thumbing for a hitch!
Munchkin: And, oh, what happened then was rich!
Munchkins: [singing] The house began to pitch / The kitchen took a slich / It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch / Which was not a happy situation for the Wicked Witch!
—–
Dorothy: Now which way do we go?
Scarecrow: Pardon me, this way is a very nice way.
Dorothy: Who said that?
[Toto barks at scarecrow]
Dorothy: Don’t be silly, Toto. Scarecrows don’t talk.
Scarecrow: [points other way] It’s pleasant down that way, too.
Dorothy: That’s funny. Wasn’t he pointing the other way?
Scarecrow: [points both ways] Of course, some people do go both ways. (Editor’s note: I wonder if it meant in 1939 what it means in 2013)
—–
Dorothy: Lions, and tigers, and bears! Oh, my!
—–
Dorothy: [Reaches to pick an apple from the apple tree, the tree grabs the apple and slaps her hand] Ouch!
Apple Tree: What’d’ya think you’re doing?
Dorothy: We’ve been walking a long ways and I was hungry and… did you say something?
Apple Tree: She was hungry! Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?
Dorothy: Oh dear! I keep forgetting I’m not in Kansas!
Scarecrow: Come along Dorothy. You don’t want any of those apples!
Apple Tree: Are you hinting my apples aren’t what they ought to be?
—–
Cowardly Lion: All right, I’ll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I’ll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I’m going in there. There’s only one thing I want you fellows to do.
Tin WoodsmanScarecrow: What’s that?
Cowardly Lion: Talk me out of it!
—–
Cowardly Lion: Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the “ape” in apricot? What have they got that I ain’t got?
DorothyScarecrowTin Woodsman: Courage!
Cowardly Lion: You can say that again! Huh?
—–
Dorothy: Weren’t you frightened?
Wizard of Oz: Frightened? Child, you’re talking to a man who’s laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe… I was petrified.
—–
Dorothy: Your Majesty, if you were king, you wouldn’t be afraid of anything?
Cowardly Lion: Not nobody! Not nohow!
Tin Woodsman: Not even a rhinoceros?
Cowardly Lion: Imposerous!
Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus?
Cowardly Lion: Why, I’d thrash him from top to bottomus!
Dorothy: Supposing you met an elephant?
Cowardly Lion: I’d wrap him up in cellophane!
Scarecrow: What if it were a brontosaurus?
Cowardly Lion: I’d show him who was king of the forest!
—–
Dorothy: Oh, please! Please, sir! I’ve got to see the Wizard! The Good Witch of the North sent me!
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Prove it!
Scarecrow: She’s wearing the ruby slippers she gave her.
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Oh, so she is! Well, bust my buttons! Why didn’t you say that in the first place? That’s a horse of a different color! Come on in!
—–
Dorothy: [to Toto] Now I… I know we’re not in Kansas!
—–
Cowardly Lion: [singing] If I were king of the fore-e-e-est / Not queen, not duke, not prince / My regal robes of the fore-e-e-est / Would be satin, not cotton, not chintz / I’d command each thing, whether fish or fowl / With a r-r-ruff and a r-r-ruff, and a royal growl – R-R-Ruff! / As I click my heels / All the trees would kneel / And the mountains bow / And the bulls kowtow / And the sparrow would take wing / If I, if I were ki-i-i-i-ng! / The rabbits would show respect to me / The chipmunks genuflect to me / Though my tail would lash / I would show compash / For every underling / If I, if I were king / Just ki-i-i-i-ing!
—–
Scarecrow: I haven’t got a brain… only straw.
Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven’t got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don’t know… But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking… don’t they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you’re right.
—–
Scarecrow: First they
[the Flying Monkeys]
Scarecrow: took my legs off and they threw them over there! Then they took my chest out and they threw it over there!
Tin Woodsman: Well, that’s you all over!
—–
Wicked Witch of the West: You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done! I’m melting! melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? Oooooh, look out! I’m going! Oooooh! Ooooooh!
—–
Wizard of Oz: Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
—–
Dorothy: Oh, Thank you so much! We’ve been gone such a long time and we feel so messy… What kind of a horse is that? I’ve never seen a horse like that before!
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: And never will again, I fancy. There’s only one of him and he’s it. He’s the Horse of a Different Color, you’ve heard tell about.
—–
Cowardly Lion: Come on, get up and fight, you shivering junkyard!
[goes over to the Scarecrow]
Cowardly Lion: And put your hands up, you lopsided bag of hay!
Scarecrow: Now that’s getting personal, Lion.
Tin Woodsman: Yes. Get up and teach him a lesson.
Scarecrow: Well, what’s wrong with you teaching him?
Tin Woodsman: Well, I hardly know him.


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Classic Quotes from Buckaroo Banzai

Here are some great quotes from the movie The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai (Across the 8th Dimension). A wonderful cult classic sci-fi movie, with Peter Weller, John Lithgow, Ellen Barkin, Jeff Goldblum & Christopher Lloyd.

I love how the aliens use “monkey boys” as an insulting name for humans. I love how all the aliens have the given name John. And that one is very particular about how his surname is pronounced.

buckaroobonzai
Lord John Whorfin: May I pass along my congratulations for your great interdimensional breakthrough. I am sure, in the miserable annals of the Earth, you will be duly enshrined.
—–
Buckaroo Banzai: You can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when it comes right down to it, this far inside the head it all looks the same. No, no, no, don’t tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to.
—–
Buckaroo Banzai: You remind me of someone I once knew.
Penny Priddy: Was she… very beautiful?
Buckaroo Banzai: She was… Queen of the Netherlands
—–
Buckaroo Banzai: Hey, hey, hey, hey-now. Don’t be mean; we don’t have to be mean, cuz, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
—–
Perfect Tommy: Emilio Lizardo. Wasn’t he on TV once?
Buckaroo Banzai: You’re thinking of Mr. Wizard.
Reno: Emilio Lizardo is a top scientist, dummkopf.
Perfect Tommy: So was Mr. Wizard.
—–
Lord John Whorfin: Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is your soul and damned is your life.
—–
John Bigboote: Damn John Whorfin and the horse he rode in on.
—–
John O’Connor: They’re only monkey-boys. We can crush them here on earth, Lord Whorfin.
—–
Lord John Whorfin: Take her to the Pitt. Go, Big-booty. Use more honey. Find out what she knows.
—–
Lord John Whorfin: Laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy.
—–
Lord John Whorfin: Shut up, Big-booty, you coward. You are the weakest individual I ever know.
—–
John Bigboote: It’s not my goddamn planet. Understand, monkey boy?
—–
Lord John Whorfin: History is-a made at night. Character is what you are in the dark.
—–
Mission Control: Buckaroo, The White House wants to know is everything ok with the alien space craft from Planet 10 or should we just go ahead and destroy Russia?
Buckaroo Banzai: Tell him yes on one and no on two.
Mission Control: Which one was yes, go ahead and destroy Russia… or number 2?
—–
John Bigboote: We’ve had our chance! Your Overthruster’s for shit! We’re lost!
Lord John Whorfin: One more word out of you, Bigbooty…
John Bigboote: [screaming] BIG-BOO-TAY! TAY! TAY!
[Whorfin shoots him]
—–
John Bigboote: John O’Connor, break the window!
John O’Connor: Why me, John Bigboote?
John Bigboote: It might be booby-trapped!
John O’Connor: Oh.
—–


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Classic Quotes from The Matrix

Here are some great quotes from the movie The Matrix

Matrix
Agent Smith: We’re willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we’re asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.
Neo: Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger
[He does]
Neo: and you give me my phone call.
—–
Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
—–
Agent Smith: I’d like to share a revelation that I’ve had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you’re not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You’re a plague and we are the cure.
—–
Morpheus: I imagine that right now, you’re feeling a bit like Alice. Hmm? Tumbling down the rabbit hole?
Neo: You could say that.
Morpheus: I see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that’s not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: Because I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of my life.
Morpheus: I know *exactly* what you mean. Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Neo: The Matrix.
Morpheus: Do you want to know what it is?
Neo: Yes.
Morpheus: The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work… when you go to church… when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Morpheus: That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind.
—–
Oracle: I’d ask you to sit down, but, you’re not going to anyway. And don’t worry about the vase.
Neo: What vase?
[Neo turns to look for a vase, and as he does, he knocks over a vase of flowers, which shatters on the floor]
Oracle: That vase.
Neo: I’m sorry…
Oracle: I said don’t worry about it. I’ll get one of my kids to fix it.
Neo: How did you know?
Oracle: Ohh, what’s really going to bake your noodle later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn’t said anything?
—–
Cypher: I know what you’re thinking, ’cause right now I’m thinking the same thing. Actually, I’ve been thinking it ever since I got here: Why oh why didn’t I take the BLUE pill?
—–
Tank: So what do you need? Besides a miracle.
Neo: Guns. Lots of guns.
—–
Morpheus: How did I beat you?
Neo: You… you’re too fast.
Morpheus: Do you believe that my being stronger or faster has anything to do with my muscles in this place? Do you think that’s air you’re breathing now?
—–
Tank: Here you go, buddy; “Breakfast of Champions.”
Mouse: If you close your eyes, it almost feels like you’re eating runny eggs.
Apoc: Yeah, or a bowl of snot.
Mouse: Do you know what it really reminds me of? Tasty Wheat. Did you ever eat Tasty Wheat?
Switch: No, but technically, neither did you.
Mouse: That’s exactly my point. Exactly. Because you have to wonder: how do the machines know what Tasty Wheat tasted like? Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think Tasty Wheat tasted like actually tasted like oatmeal, or tuna fish. That makes you wonder about a lot of things. You take chicken, for example: maybe they couldn’t figure out what to make chicken taste like, which is why chicken tastes like everything.
Apoc: Shut up, Mouse.
—–
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
—–
Agent Smith: The great Morpheus. We meet at last.
Morpheus: And you are?
Agent Smith: A Smith. Agent Smith.
Morpheus: You all look the same to me.
—–


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Classic Quotes from Blade Runner

Here are some great quotes from the movie Blade Runner.

BladeRunner
Batty: Questions… Morphology? Longevity? Incept dates?
Hannibal Chew: Don’t know, I don’t know such stuff. I just do eyes, ju-, ju-, just eyes… just genetic design, just eyes. You Nexus, huh? I design your eyes.
Batty: Chew, if only you could see what I’ve seen with your eyes!
—–
Deckard: [narrating] I don’t know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life – anybody’s life; my life. All he’d wanted were the same answers the rest of us want. Where did I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got? All I could do was sit there and watch him die.
—–
[Batty wants Tyrell to extend his lifespan]
Tyrell: Would you… like to be upgraded?
Batty: I had in mind something a little more radical.
Tyrell: What… what seems to be the problem?
Batty: Death.
Tyrell: Death; ah, well that’s a little out of my jurisdiction. You…
Batty: I want more life!
—–
Tyrell: [Tyrell explains to Roy why he can’t extend his lifespan] The facts of life… to make an alteration in the evolvement of an organic life system is fatal. A coding sequence cannot be revised once it’s been established.
Batty: Why not?
Tyrell: Because by the second day of incubation, any cells that have undergone reversion mutation give rise to revertant colonies, like rats leaving a sinking ship; then the ship… sinks.
Batty: What about EMS-3 recombination?
Tyrell: We’ve already tried it – ethyl, methane, sulfinate as an alkylating agent and potent mutagen; it created a virus so lethal the subject was dead before it even left the table.
Batty: Then a repressor protein, that would block the operating cells.
Tyrell: Wouldn’t obstruct replication; but it does give rise to an error in replication, so that the newly formed DNA strand carries with it a mutation – and you’ve got a virus again… but this, all of this is academic. You were made as well as we could make you.
Batty: But not to last.
Tyrell: The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long – and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy. Look at you: you’re the Prodigal Son; you’re quite a prize!
Batty: I’ve done… questionable things.
Tyrell: Also extraordinary things; revel in your time.
Batty: Nothing the God of biomechanics wouldn’t let you into heaven for.
—–
Tyrell: I’m surprised you didn’t come here sooner.
Batty: It’s not an easy thing to meet your maker.
—–
Roy: I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I’ve watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.


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Classic Quotes from The Fifth Element

Here are some great quotes from the movie The Fifth Element. Have your Multi Pass ready!

FifthElement
[demonstrating a weapon]
Zorg: Voila! The ZF-1.
[the weapon opens, and Zorg picks it up]
Zorg: It’s light. Handle’s adjustable for easy carrying, good for righties and lefties. Breaks down into four parts, undetectable by x-ray, ideal for quick, discreet interventions. A word on firepower. Titanium recharger, three thousand round clip with bursts of three to three hundred, and with the Replay button – another Zorg invention – it’s even easier.
—–
Zorg: A case with four stones in it! Not one or two or three but four! Four stones! What the hell am I supposed to do with an empty case?
Mangalore Aknot: We are warriors, not merchants.
Zorg: But you can still count. Look it’s easy. Look at my fingers, four stones, four crates, zero stones, zero crates! Pack everything up we’re outta here.
Mangalore Aknot: [Mangalores hoist their guns with a roar] We risked our lives! I think a little compensation is in order.
Zorg: Oh, so you are merchants after all. Leave them one crate for the cause.
—–
Leeloo: Leeloo Dallas mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: Yeah.
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: Yeah, multipass, she knows it’s a multipass. Leeloo Dallas. This is my wife.
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: We’re newlyweds. Just met. You know how it is. We bumped into each other, sparks happen…
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: Yes, she knows it’s a multipass. Anyway, we’re in love.
—–
Mr. Kim: You got a message.
Korben Dallas: Yeah
Mr. Kim: You’re not gonna open it? It might be important.
Korben Dallas: Yeah, like the last two I got were important. The first one was from my wife, telling me she was leaving. The second was from my lawyer, telling me he was leaving… with my wife.
Mr. Kim: Ah, that’s bad luck. Grandfather say it not rain everyday. This is good news, guaranteed. I bet your lunch.
Korben Dallas: Okay, you’re on.
Mr. Kim: Come on…
[Reads]
Mr. Kim: You are fired. Oh.
Korben Dallas: Well, at least I won lunch.
Mr. Kim: Good philosophy, see good in bad, I like.
—–
Korben Dallas: What’s your name?
Leeloo: Leeloo Minai Lekarariba-Laminai-Tchai Ekbat De Sebat.
Korben Dallas: Good. That… that whole thing’s your name, huh? Do you have, uh… a shorter name?
Leeloo: Leeloo.
—–
Zorg: I hate warriors, too narrow-minded. I’ll tell you what I do like though: a killer, a dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF-1, would’ve immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.
[Scene shifts to Aknot, who is staring in confusion at the little red button. He shrugs and pushes it]
Zorg: [Casually smokes a cigarette as the room with the Mangalores blows up] Bring me the priest.
—–
[the President is talking with Korben’s mother on the phone]
President Lindberg: Mrs. Dallas, this is the President. On behalf of the federation, I would like to thank you…
Korben’s Mother: Oh, please. That doesn’t even sound like him! The President’s an idiot, you don’t sound like an idiot. If you don’t wanna talk to your mother, just avoid me like usual, huh? I’ll just throw myself in traffic. I’ll just Saran Wrap myself to the bed and pretend my child is suffocating me…
—–
Korben Dallas: How many are in there?
Fog: I-I-I-don’t…
Korben Dallas: Let’s count.
[looks around the corner and counts the Mangalors in the room; draws back quickly]
Korben Dallas: Seven on the left, five on the right.
[turns the corner again and fires six shots in rapid succession]
Korben Dallas: Four on the right, two on the left.
—–
Zorg: Where are the stones?
Priest Vito Cornelius: I don’t know. And even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell someone like you.
Zorg: Why? What’s wrong with me?
Priest Vito Cornelius: I try to serve life. And you seem to want to destroy it.
Zorg: Oh, Father. You’re so wrong. Let me explain.
[Puts and empty water glass on his desk]
Zorg: Life, which you so nobly serve, comes from destruction, disorder and chaos. Now take this empty glass. Here it is: peaceful, serene, boring. But if it is destroyed
[Pushes the glass off the table. It shatter on the floor, and several small machines come out to clean it up]
Zorg: Look at all these little things! So busy now! Notice how each one is useful. A lovely ballet ensues, so full of form and color. Now, think about all those people that created them. Technicians, engineers, hundreds of people, who will be able to feed their children tonight, so those children can grow up big and strong and have little teeny children of their own, and so on and so forth. Thus, adding to the great chain of life. You see, father, by causing a little destruction, I am in fact encouraging life. In reality, you and I are in the same business.
—–
Priest Vito Cornelius: [discussing the Dark Planet] Imagine for a moment that this thing is not anything that can be identified because it prefers not to be. Wherever there is life, it brings death, because it is evil, absolute evil.
President Lindberg: One more reason to shoot first.
Priest Vito Cornelius: Evil begets evil, Mr. President. Shooting will only make it stronger.


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Classic Quotes from Ghostbusters

Here are some great quotes from the movie Ghostbusters. Who ya’ gonna’ call?

ghostbusters
Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, “biblical”?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!
Mayor: All right, all right! I get the point!
—–
Dr Ray Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven’t had a successful test of this equipment.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself.
Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I.
Dr Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
—–
Dana Barrett: You know, you don’t act like a scientist.
Dr. Peter Venkman: They’re usually pretty stiff.
Dana Barrett: You’re more like a game show host.
—–
[Dana, possessed by “The Gatekeeper,” answers the door]
Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Not that I know of.
[She slams the door in his face. Venkman knocks again]
Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes. Actually I’m a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.
—–
Dr. Egon Spengler: There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don’t cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, “bad”?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That’s bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.
—–
Dr. Peter Venkman: We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!
—–
Janine Melnitz: You’re very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead.
Janine Melnitz: Oh, that’s very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I’m too intellectual but I think it’s a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play raquetball. Do you have any hobbies?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.
—–
[Dana has described seeing a terror dog in her refrigerator]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Generally you don’t see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.
—–
Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it’s true.
[pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no dick.
—–
[Egon is running tests on Louis, who has been possessed by Gozer and is now the Keymaster]
Dr. Egon Spengler: Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?
Louis: Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
—–
[In a TV commercial]
Dr Ray Stantz: Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Have you or your family ever seen a spook, spectre or ghost?
Dr Ray Stantz: If the answer is “yes,” then don’t wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals…
Dr Ray StantzDr. Egon SpenglerDr. Peter Venkman: Ghostbusters.
Dr Ray Stantz: Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.
Dr Ray StantzDr. Egon SpenglerDr. Peter Venkman: We’re ready to believe you.
—–
Dr Ray Stantz: Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn’t have to produce anything! You’ve never been out of college! You don’t know what it’s like out there! I’ve *worked* in the private sector. They expect *results*.
—–
[Dana is possessed]
Dr. Peter Venkman: I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people.
[Dana starts passionately making out with him]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Actually, it’s more of a guideline than a rule…
—–
Dr. Egon Spengler: I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways, we could reverse the particle flow through the gate.
Dr. Peter Venkman: How?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [hesitates] We’ll cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: ‘Scuse me Egon? You said crossing the streams was bad!
Dr Ray Stantz: Cross the streams…
Dr. Peter Venkman: You’re gonna endanger us, you’re gonna endanger our client – the nice lady, who paid us in advance, before she became a dog…
Dr. Egon Spengler: Not necessarily. There’s definitely a *very slim* chance we’ll survive.
[pause while they consider this]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [slaps Ray] I love this plan! I’m excited to be a part of it! LET’S DO IT!
—–
[clearing away tables in the dining room to make room for the ghost trap]
Dr Ray Stantz: I’ve gotta get this in the clear…!
Dr Ray Stantz: Wait, wait, wait! I’ve always wanted to do this…
[He yanks a tablecloth off of a table, overturning and shattering everything except the centerpiece in the middle]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [triumphantly] And the flowers are still standing!
—–
Gozer: The Choice is made!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa! Ho! Ho! Whoa-oa!
Gozer: The Traveller has come!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Nobody choosed anything!
[turns to Egon]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Did you choose anything?
Dr. Egon Spengler: No.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to Winston] Did YOU?
Winston Zeddemore: My mind is totally blank.
Dr. Peter Venkman: *I* didn’t choose anything…
[long pause, Peter, Egon and Winston all look at Ray]
Dr Ray Stantz: I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [angrily] What? *What* “just popped in there?”
Dr Ray Stantz: I… I… I tried to think…
Dr. Egon Spengler: LOOK!
[they all look over one side of the roof]
Dr Ray Stantz: No! It CAN’T be!
Dr. Peter Venkman: What is it?
Dr Ray Stantz: It CAN’T be!
Dr. Peter Venkman: What did you DO, Ray?
Winston Zeddemore: Oh, shit!
[they all see a giant cubic white head topped with a sailor hat, Peter looks at Ray]
Dr Ray Stantz: [somberly] It’s the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.


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Classic Quotes from The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride has a (deservedly) big following, in part from a great cast (see below), but also from some terrific quotes.

Cary Elwes … Westley
Mandy Patinkin … Inigo Montoya
Christopher Guest … Count Tyrone Rugen
Wallace Shawn … Vizzini
André the Giant … Fezzik (as Andre the Giant)
Fred Savage … The Grandson
Robin Wright … The Princess Bride
Peter Falk … The Grandfather / Narrator
Carol Kane … Valerie
Billy Crystal … Miracle Max

PrincessBride

The Grandson: A book? 
Grandpa: That’s right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I’m gonna read it to you.
The Grandson: Has it got any sports in it?
Grandpa: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles…
The Grandson: Doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll try to stay awake.
Grandpa: Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.
—–
Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Count Rugen: Stop saying that!
—–
Man in Black: [as he is unsuccessfully fighting Fezzik] Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Fezzik: I just want you to feel you’re doing well.
—–
Westley: We are men of action, lies do not become us.
—–
Inigo Montoya: You are sure nobody’s follow’ us?
Vizzini: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we’ve done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. – Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
Inigo Montoya: No reason. It’s only… I just happened to look behind us and something is there.
—–
Vizzini: HE DIDN’T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
—–
Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could speed things up?
Man in Black: If you’re in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Man in Black: That does put a damper on our relationship.
—–
Inigo Montoya: You are ready then?
Man in Black: Whether I am or not, you’ve been more than fair.
Inigo Montoya: [drawing his sword] You seem a decent fellow… I hate to kill you.
Man in Black: You seem a decent fellow… I hate to die.
—–
[fencing]
Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful.
Man in Black: Thank you; I’ve worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don’t know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I… am not left-handed.
[Moves his sword to his right hand and gains an advantage]
Man in Black: You are amazing.
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after 20 years.
Man in Black: Oh, there’s something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Man in Black: I’m not left-handed either.
[Moves his sword to his right hand and regains his advantage]
—–
Man in Black: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right… and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You’ve made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black: Australia.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You’re just stalling now.
Vizzini: You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong, so you could’ve put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
—–
Vizzini: I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains.
Man in Black: You’re that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man in Black: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons. (Henry’s personal favorite quote)
—–
Miracle Max: Have fun stormin’ da castle.
Valerie: Think it’ll work?
Miracle Max: It would take a miracle.
—–
Inigo Montoya: But, I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
Man in Black: That’s VERY comforting, but I’m afraid you’ll just have to wait.
Inigo Montoya: I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
Man in Black: No good. I’ve known too many Spaniards.
Inigo Montoya: Isn’t there any way you trust me?
Man in Black: Nothing comes to mind.
Inigo Montoya: I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
Man in Black: Throw me the rope.
—–
Grandpa: Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The End.