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Disney Princesses Reimagined As Hot Dogs

From artists Anna Hezel & Gabriella Paiella, and the mad geniuses at Bored Panda. What’s better than Disney princesses? Hotdog representations of Disney princesses!

We’ve seen Disney princesses reimagined as different ethnicities, Disney princesses with beards, realistic hair, realistic waistlines, creepy creatures and even recreated with minions. A food site called LuckyPeach decided to follow the trend and turned four Disney princesses into beautiful hot dogs.

Anna Hezel and Gabriella Paiella, the masterminds behind the project, even include the recipes with instructions on how to transform your hot dog into Ariel, Rapunzel, Pocahontas and Belle.

“Literally any way you decide to reimagine Disney princesses will be inspiring and beautiful, no matter what. Nevermind that the Disney princesses are the product of a billion-dollar capitalist behemoth, or that they emphasize conventional beauty standards and submission to men,” they write on their website.

Ariel

Pocahontas

Rapunzel

Belle

You’re welcome!


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The True Stories Behind Classic Fairy Tales

This fascinating piece is by Valerie Ogden at The Huffington Post.

Fairy tales, gripping, magical and inspiring, are master narratives. Children subconsciously recall their messages as they grow older, and are forced to cope with real injustices and contradictions in their lives. Some fairy tales are based on legends that incorporated a spiritual belief of the culture in which they originated, and were meant to emulate truth.

Numerous fairy tales, and the legends behind them, are actually watered-down versions of uncomfortable historical events. These darker stories might be too terrifying for today’s little lambkins, as well as some adults! Their horrific origins, which often involve rape, incest, torture, cannibalism and other hideous occurrences, are brimming with sophisticated and brutal morality. Their images cannot be dispelled easily and their lessons are more powerful than the present-day, innocuous fables they resemble.

In the early 1800’s Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm collected stories that depicted the unpredictable and often unforgiving life experienced by central Europeans. These brothers, determined to preserve the Germanic oral story telling that was vanishing, poured over the folklore of the region. Their first collection of stories was based on actual, gruesome events. However, they had to provide lighter interpretations of these factual incidents in order to sell books. Consequently they paid attention to previously printed fairytales, particularly those of Charles Perrault. As early as the 17th century, this Frenchman who is thought to be the father of fairy tales, created some of the most imaginative and delightful stories ever told. His confabulations of a pumpkin carriage and Fairy Godmother in Cinderella, for example, are magnificently enchanting. His original Cinderella, based on a true story, contains violent elements as well, since the wicked stepsisters butcher their own feet while trying to get into the slipper that the Prince had found.

Perrault’s tales, albeit charming, were unsentimental; for they were intended for adults, because no children’s literature existed at the time. His suspense story, BLUEBEARD, reads like a crime thriller, with the bloody knives and curious dead wives, his moral, that women should be less nosy, apparent. Perrault based his fairy tale on two accounts of dark depravity in Brittany, France. The earlier of the two accounts dealt with a savage, 6th century ruler. The second detailed the acts of a nobleman, named Gilles de Rais, who tortured, mutilated, raped and murdered hundreds of innocent children. My book explores the life and crimes of this tragic, historic figure.

The almost barbaric episodes that follow are just a smattering of fairy tales, as we know them today, derived from spoken legends which were based on facts. The morals these stories convey are far more important than the events themselves, the circumstances of which are often forgotten. These cautionary tales, where good conquers evil, the wicked get punished, the righteous live happily ever after, offer hope that one can do something positive about changing oneself and the world.

snow white

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
The fairy tale is based on the tragic life of Margarete von Waldeck, a 16th century Bavarian noblewoman. Margarete grew up in Bad Wildungen, where her brother used small children to work his copper mine. Severely deformed because of the physical labor mining required, they were despairingly referred to as dwarfs. The poison apple is also rooted in fact; an old man would offer tainted fruits to the workers, and other children he believed stole from him.

Margarete’s stepmother, despising her, sent the beauty, to the Brussels court to get rid of her. There Prince Philip II of Spain became her steamy lover. His father, the king of Spain, opposing the romance, dispatched Spanish agents to murder Margarete. They surreptitiously poisoned her.

rapunzel

Rapunzel
Rapunzel draws upon an early Christian story. In the third century A.D. a prosperous pagan merchant, living in Asia Minor, so adored his beautiful daughter he forbade her to have suitors. Accordingly he locked her in a tower when he traveled. There is no mention how hair became important, but she converted to Christianity, praying so loudly when the merchant left, her devotions reverberated throughout town. The merchant, informed of her actions, dragged her before the Roman pro-consul who insisted the father behead her or forfeit his fortune if she should refuse to give up her newfound religion. The father decapitated her but was killed by a lightning strike soon after. She became the martyr, Saint Barbara, revered by the Eastern Orthodox Church.

Bluebeard
Perrault wove his story around Conomor the Cursed, the Breton chief who had been forewarned he would be slain by his own son. As soon as one of his wives became pregnant, he murdered her. But Perrault was more fascinated by Gilles de Rais, a wealthy 15th century nobleman, a hero of the Hundred Years’ War, Joan of Arc’s protector on the battlefield. After he left the military he became a notorious serial killer of children. He was given the nickname, Bluebeard, because his horse’s sleek fur looked blue in the daylight. At his shocking trial, he described in detail how he had preyed upon and tortured innocent children. Perrault drew upon these facts to conjure up his own nightmarish character.

hansel

Hansel and Gretel
The tale of Hansel and Gretel could have been told to keep children from wandering off. But during the great famine of 1315-1317 A. D. that crushed most of continental Europe and England, disease, mass death, infanticide and cannibalism increased exponentially. Seeking relief, some desperate parents deserted their children and slaughtered their draft animals.

Or Hansel and Gretel might have stumbled upon the home of the successful baker, Katharina Schraderin. In the 1600s, she concocted such a scrumptious ginger bread cookie that a jealous male baker accused her of being a witch. After being driven from town, a posse of angry neighbors hunted her down, brought her back to her home, and burned her to death in her own oven.

Little Jack Horner
This story matches events in the life of Bishop Richard Whiting of Glastonbury and his steward, who was perhaps named Jack Horner. When King Henry VIII broke away from the Catholic Church and dissolved its Monasteries in England, Glastonbury remained the sole religious home in Somerset. Whiting, trying to keep the abbey, bribed the King by offering him twelve Catholic manorial estates. To thwart potential thieves, he hid the deeds to the estates in a pie crust. But the seventy-nine-year-old Bishop, convicted of treason for serving Rome, was drawn, quartered and hung at Glastonbury Tor overlooking the town. His “good” steward absconded with the plum deed to the Manor of Mells, and Horner’s descendants lived there until the 20th century.

The Pied Piper of Hamelin
In 1264, a pied piper had offered to get rid of the numerous rats in the Germanic village of Hamelin, as long as the town elders gave him a considerable amount of money upon the completion of this task. After he disposed of the rats, the elders reneged on their promise. Furious, the piper enticed the children of the village to follow him. They never returned.

Some believe the Piper led the innocents to the Mediterranean to join the Children’s Crusade leaving for the Holy Land. Presumably children would peacefully convert Moslems to Christianity after the Mediterranean rolled back, allowing their safe passage to Jerusalem. The Sea did not oblige, and many children starved to death waiting for the miracle to occur.

cinderella

Cinderella
That blond, fair-complexioned, but mistreated beauty in Perrault’s tale loosely relates to the history of Rhodopis, a Greek woman, whose name means “rosy-cheeked.” When she was a young girl, she was captured in Thrace, sold into slavery around 500 BC, and taken to Egypt.

Her unusual looks made her a treasured commodity, and her master showered her with gifts, including a pair of golden shoes. These shoes and Rhodopis were noticed by the Pharaoh, Ahmose II. He insisted she become one of his wives. While not his principal, revered partner, born of royal blood, she would still perform ceremonial functions and…mainly be readily available to gratify Ahmose sexually. Did her new found status offer her perpetual happiness? Probably not.

Valerie Ogden is the author of Bluebeard: Brave Warrior. Brutal Psychopath.

Click to Tweet: The True Stories Behind Classic Fairy Tales at http://wp.me/p31Xf4-Lb via @Nimpentoad


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Disney Heroines Chosen To Be “Doctor Who” Companions

Because you can never get enough Doctor Who homages…

This one courtesy of Donna Dickens at Buzzfeed – http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/disney-heroines-chosen-to-be-doctor-who-companions based on the DeviantArt portfolio of Karen Hallion (KHallion). Enjoy!

PS – On a related note, you may also appreciate The 13 Best Doctor Who Cakes of All Time.

1. Snow White – Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Snow White - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

2. Cinderella – Cinderella

Cinderella - Cinderella

3. Aurora – Sleeping Beauty

Aurora - Sleeping Beauty

4. Alice – Alice In Wonderland

Alice - Alice In Wonderland

5. Tinkerbell – Peter Pan

Tinkerbell - Peter Pan

6. Ariel – The Little Mermaid

Ariel - The Little Mermaid

7. Belle – Beauty and the Beast

Belle - Beauty and the Beast

8. Mulan – Mulan

Mulan - Mulan

9. Rapunzel – Tangled

Rapunzel - Tangled

10. Merida – Brave

Merida - Brave

Bonus: What’s this? What’s this?

Bonus: What's this? What's this?

Bonus II: Little Red and the Bad Wolf.

Bonus II: Little Red and the Bad Wolf.

Bonus III: Mary Poppins is totally a Time Lady.

Bonus III: Mary Poppins is totally a Time Lady.


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Delightfully Macabre Disney Heroines by Jeffrey Thomas

This is my favorite Disney heroines homage to date. Who knew they were so evil? Collected by Donna Dickens at http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/delightfully-macabre-disney-heroines

The awesome artwork is by Jeffrey Thomas at http://jeftoon01.deviantart.com/

1. Snow White – Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Snow White - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

2. Blue Fairy – Pinocchio

Blue Fairy - Pinocchio

3. Cinderella – Cinderella

Cinderella - Cinderella

4. Alice – Alice In Wonderland

Alice - Alice In Wonderland

5. Wendy – Peter Pan

Wendy - Peter Pan

6. Aurora – Sleeping Beauty

Aurora - Sleeping Beauty

7. Maid Marian – Robin Hood

Maid Marian - Robin Hood

8. Ariel – The Little Mermaid

Ariel - The Little Mermaid

9. Belle – Beauty and the Beast

Belle - Beauty and the Beast

10. Jasmine – Aladdin

Jasmine - Aladdin

11. Nala – The Lion King

Nala - The Lion King

12. Pocahontas – Pocahontas

Pocahontas - Pocahontas

13. Esmeralda – The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Esmeralda - The Hunchback of Notre Dame

14. Megara – Hercules

Megara - Hercules

15. Mulan – Mulan

Mulan - Mulan

16. Jane – Tarzan

Jane - Tarzan

17. Kida – Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Kida - Atlantis: The Lost Empire

18. Tiana – The Princess and the Frog

Tiana - The Princess and the Frog

19. Rapunzel – Tangled

Rapunzel - Tangled


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Disney Princesses As “Game Of Thrones” Characters

Because you can never get enough Game of Thrones homages…

This one courtesy of Arielle Calderon at Buzzfeed – http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/disney-princesses-as-game-of-thrones-characters?sub=3018657_2472932 based on the DeviantArt portfolio of DjeDjehuti. Enjoy!

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

Frozen

Frozen

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

Cinderella

Cinderella

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

Mulan

Mulan

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

Tangled

Tangled

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

The Princess and the Frog

The Princess and the Frog

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

Aladdin

Aladdin

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

Mulan

Mulan

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

Lilo and Stitch

Lilo and Stitch

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

Brave

Brave

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com

DjeDjehuti / Via djedjehuti.deviantart.com


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Disney princesses as heroines from other speculative fiction by Isaiah K Stephens

Just in time for Halloween, Isaiah K Stephens gives us Disney princesses taking on alternate heroine roles from other works of speculative fiction. Well, played sir. His website is http://izzydoodledump.tumblr.com/.

Ariel-BlackWidow

Ariel as Black Widow (The Avengers)

Aurora-DaenerysTargaryen

Aurora as Daenerys Targaryen (Game of Thrones)

Belle-HermioneGranger

Belle as Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)

Jasmine-Chun-li

Jasmine as Chun-li (Street Fighter)

Merida-Rogue

Merida as Rogue (X-men)

Mulan-Xena

Mulan as Xena

Pocahontas-Katniss

Pocahontas as Katniss (The Hunger Games)

Rapuzel-SailorMoon

Rapunzel as Sailor Moon

SnowWhite-WonderWoman

Snow White as Wonder Woman

Tiana-AvatarKorra

Tiana as Avatar Korra (Korra / The Last Airbender)